Doubts Arising

I am starting to realize that everything I know or am taught could easily be a lie.
I am starting to be skeptical about everything, asking questions and doubting a lot.
We are born into this strange world where certain rules and beliefs are already in place.
Imagine how limiting that is. Imagine we were born and asked to figure things out ourselves; that is, figure out what works and what doesn’t. Imagine the countless ideas and extraordinary things we, as humans, would’ve brought to life. We are in chains and we don’t realize it. Who decides what’s acceptable and what’s not? Where are these decision makers? The acceptability of something starts from somewhere, from someone or a group of people.  It starts small and grows over centuries till it becomes a culture the whole world accepts. The people who were born into the black slavery era didn’t know of a world without slavery. They were born into this terrible period of hate and were forced to take part in it. The same way you might seriously disagree with slavery because of how disgusting it is, is the same way the world in generations to come might thoroughly hate how much we incarcerate people right now. I feel like I’m drifting but I just wish we could all have a chance to think for ourselves and not be forced to learn a way of life that one fateful day, a group of people decided was the right way.
I am beginning to think of so many possible states the world could be in right now and it’s mind blowing. We’re so much better than conforming to an institutionalized world with unrealistic standards and absolutely no access to truth. There’s a lot in us and we’re literally taught to be blind to that and to concentrate on what humans like us decided was worth living for.
There’s so much to learn, and at the same time, unlearn. There are so many lies we are born into and we need to realize that and step into our own truth since no one’s gonna offer truth to us.

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What She Wants

She stood still, staring at herself in her mirror.
She saw beauty but an unsure and insecure demeanor.
She wanted something; she wasn’t sure what.
She wanted to be a lot of things but of patience, she didn’t have a lot.
She wanted to settle for self hatred but, she loved herself too much.
Not enough to treat herself or be treated well, but enough to clutch.
Enough to hold on tight till the end; to hang in there.
She didn’t want to be in front of her mirror, she wanted to be everywhere.
She wanted to love but she couldn’t.
She wanted to be loved, but they wouldn’t.
Confusion ate her up. She didn’t know who or what she was.
She felt more insecure; all she could see was her flaws.
If only she could at least know herself or know her standards,
she thought, life would feel beautiful, even with all its hazards.
She wanted to breathe and relax but nothing felt right.
She wanted to move and scream and jump but her skin felt tight.
She wants to be something or someone she can never be.
She doesn’t want to be or accept who she is. She doesn’t want to be me.

 

This Someone

Sometimes, you want to be strong,
but you settle for weakness cause you know…
this someone will ask, “what’s wrong?”
It becomes easy to be dependent and you ask yourself,
“why do I have to be strong?”
Strength becomes a hindrance or an enemy, somewhat, because…
It’s so easy to lose yourself in this someone,
and to trust and to rely and to quit trying.
But in the end, what are you defined by?
You want to be defined as enlivening, as strengthening.
Sometimes, you want to be strong,
you…you want to be unbreakable;
but you settle for weakness cause you know…
this someone won’t let you think you’re breakable.
You hide in this someone because in him,
you don’t have to face your fears.
You hide in him cause he’ll protect you no matter what;
he won’t let you feel pain or loneliness.
But these are things you want to feel and grow used to because…
they are real, they are life; they are what will define you.
They are what will make you but this someone…
This someone can’t stand to see you feel these things because…
you are his gem; his diamond that he has to keep safe.
So it’s easy; so easy to settle for this luxury of dependency but
sometimes you have to wake up and realize, you are actually alone.
You need to be and stand for yourself.
You need to be strong for you.
You need to feel; feel as much as possible so you become indestructible.
But this someone can’t understand that sometimes,
you need to let go of ‘easy’ and face ‘difficult’.
Sometimes you need to become vulnerable and unprotected to be strong;
To be who you truly want to be.

 

Passion Is Me

If you ask me to describe passion, I’ll be tempted to say, “me”.
I feel and see so deeply, everything I do or say seems exaggerated.
Whatever I feel, be it love, hate, anger, joy, I feel on a different level, I feel wholly.
You see people walking around you, I see lives walking around me. You see a
movie, I see creativity. You dance to music, I feel music.
I am not ordinary but I act like I am because I need to communicate and not
scare people away. All my life, I’ve only met one human whose depth of soul
I admire and whose level matches mine; her name is Temi.
She is poetic from her soul and she doesn’t keep anything back. She says it all.
I want to say it all, but I hide and I get so filled up with all these wonderful
thoughts and they just die inside me.
Passion is what I am; no one sees it but I feel it.
If you are like me, then you hear these a lot; “dude it’s not that serious”,
“it’s not that deep”,”Why so personal?” These statements or questions drive you into your shell. They cause you to hide how amazing you are, how brutally true you are.
Please do not fall victim. Passion is beautiful; let it out. Let your soul out.
The world needs people who take things personal, people who see beyond the ordinary.
The world needs more people like us. Don’t hide.

Yilsoem.

The Rules

To hell with all the rules!
They limit us. They destroy us. They make us fake.
Why do we choose to stick to them and not have freedom instead?
Do not be deceived, your life is yours, not the rules’ nor whomever made them.
Go against the rules. Defy the norms. Of course, if that’s really what you want to do. If living by the rules is what you really prefer, not because you want to obey them but because you would’ve lived in line with the rules even if they didn’t exist; then please, by all means, do.
But if not, do not be caged and fooled by them.
Set yourself free and breathe!
Yep, dye your hair green if you please. Silver even! It’s your hair
Fall in love, get heart-broken and yet, fall in love again.
Live life like there were no rules! Do whatever you want!
The rules are deceitful! They’re blinding.
Imagine a world without rules that tell us the kind of person to date;
rules that tell us how to look or how to live our own lives.
To hell with the image of an ideal life journey; go to high school, college, work, get married, have children, and make them experience the exact same life.
Why can’t we see that there’s something wrong with these norms? Why can’t we see that we’re like machines doing the same thing over and over again for centuries.
Change is what this world needs.
A change of mind sets, a change of ideas and an end to rules.
Disregard the rules, they should have no say in your life.
They’re mere rules, made by mere humans.
Who are humans to tell other humans what to do and what not to do?
Every human has a right to make the rules in his or her own life.
To hell with these rules that imprison your mind.
The rules are false.
The rules are a myth.

Peace. x

How about a short story!!?

A wind, a strength and an enemy.

The street was quiet and unusually dark as she walked. Atinuke looked to her left and saw some blue colored smoke spring out of nothing. She immediately turned away out of shock and kept walking, faster this time. About a minute into her quick pace, she heard a can roll on the tarred road. She turned around as swiftly as she could, only to see the same thing she’d been seeing; darkness. Something wasn’t right and she felt it. She stood facing that same direction, trying to see through the thick darkness, but still, nothing. She got so terrified, so she screamed, “Who’s there!?” She screamed the same words again. No one answered. The silence she heard petrified everything she was made of, so she turned around one more time and started running as fast as she could. She had no idea where she was running to. Light maybe? A place where she could at least see her enemy? Suddenly, she felt a strong wind behind her. It seemed like she heard the wind; it also felt like it touched her, so she stopped running to nowhere and stood still in terror. She knew that whatever the enemy was, she couldn’t escape from it. It seemed like it was everywhere, hunting her, like her shadow. In nothing more than a second of stillness, she felt this great strength lift her up to the top of a building. Feelings of fear and excitement mixed up inside her as she felt herself safely landing; she didn’t know which emotion to express. She looked around with tears in her eyes, making her temporary lack of sight even worse. She screamed, “Who are you!?” No reply. She loved how beautiful the view of Lekki was from where she stood but she somewhat knew that that might be her last moment on earth. She took a deep breath and readied herself for the best and the worst. She felt her lips shake like they were being electrocuted. She wished that her enemy would just kill her already and save her from her anxiety and dread. As though her enemy heard her thoughts, she immediately felt teeth bore into her neck, deeper and deeper until she felt no pain. She screamed as loud as she could, although she knew there was no help around. She screamed with all her might and struggled with her enemy but he was stronger than a rock. Unexpectedly, she heard someone shout her name from the street below them. She heard her name a second time and a third. She wanted to scream out to her hero, but she couldn’t. Every form of energy had been sucked out of her. She was going to die. She kept hearing her name until everything became black. She knew that was the black face of death. Out of the void she felt, she heard her name again, this time it was louder, and even echoing. “Tinuke!” Oh no, it was Ayodele, her brother. She closed her eyes and screamed, “Dele! Dele!” She hoped that when she opened her eyes, she would see him; and just like a fairytale, she did see her brother. The strange thing was, she was in her bed, sweating like never before. Dele was holding her and he looked happier than she’d ever seen him. “You’re okay?”, he asked, staring at her as though she wasn’t meant to be awake. “What. It was just a dream”, She said, totally confused. “Yeah, but…”. Her brother seemed dumbfounded and it slightly annoyed her because he wouldn’t just make a sentence! “But what!?”, She yelled.
“Your neck! There are strange holes in it!”

To Exist or to Live?

I decided to post this write-up too because I realised my introduction didn’t really give a good enough feel of the type of writer I’m gonna be on this blog. The introduction was an intro to me but this is going to be an intro to my writing. Enjoy!

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Before I say anything serious, I want to ask a little favor of you…

…Dude create a bucket list!!!!!
Well, not necessarily a list of things you want to do before you die, but maybe before a certain period of time ends, say summer? Make that bucket list anyway and do every d*mn thing you listed!!

Okay, on to the serious stuff 😐
I recently started to define words my own way. You know? be my own dictionary? So once in a while, I’ll be giving you my definition(s) of certain words just so there’s a clearer understanding of my text.
To exist: To be in the universe.
To live: To cherish every moment; to explore; to appreciate the little things; to allow one’s self to experience; to experience even; to take note of the tiny details; to love; to laugh; to be inquisitive; to be adventurous. My list goes on and on and I would continue but I’m trying to make my articles as conveniently concise as possible.
Now that you have a sort of understanding of the earlier defined terms, you can probably answer the following question: Do you live or do you exist?
Wait pause…

…Make that bucket list!! For real!!
Especially if, from the definitions given, you think you only exist.

Okay people. Let’s go into thinking mode.
What are those activities that completely liberate you and give you a sense of security and a sudden control over your life? When I say control, I don’t mean having your whole life planned out and sticking to that boring plan. I mean having authority over the decisions you make; I mean knowing what you really want and going for it. For me, I feel some sort of serenity and control when I listen to really tasty satisfying music and I feel a sense of freedom when I sing and draw. I feel satisfied when I solve Math and Physics problems too! Figure out what activities are your kind of thing and engage yourself in them.
What are those activities that make you feel happy and peaceful? Where are those places you wanna travel to? What exactly do you want to experience and get from life? (Please leave ‘wealth’ out of this – money brings a short-lived happiness. You sorta grow used to your wealth and then BAAM!!!! you want something more, you want true satisfaction).
Remember this is a thinking process. You should think of answers to these questions and maybe even write them down.
You really need to know those things you’re passionate about and stick to them because when you do, you’ll see yourself permanently leaving that phase of mere existence. Oh and you can use some of your answers to the questions I asked to make a bucket list.
I just really want you all to know that…before you know it, your joints are gonna be hurting and you’ll have grandkids running around. So do not let life pass you by, let it pass through you instead!

I decided many months ago that I wanted to see the best in everything and everyone. I began to continually search for beauty in everything until i didn’t have to search anymore. The beauty was just…there!. It became so obvious and so enlivening. Well you could say, “But war cannot be beautiful”. Well of course it isn’t, it’s really ugly! But if you look closer, you see loyalty in the soldiers fighting the war. You see an array of inexplicable boldness and strength. You see a beautiful display of hope and a strange kind of love. Do you see those things?
Causing everything to be beautiful in your eyes is another great way to actually live! Remember my definition of living? It’s a great way to be engaged in your surroundings and to appreciate a lot more than you can imagine!
Don’t spend time being angry about the bad stuff. Instead look for that hidden beauty in them and with time, that beauty just shines in your face. It doesn’t stay hidden.
Life is too short I tell ya!! Replace all that ugly stuff with beauty!!
Live people! Don’t just exist.

Peace. x

The Introduction

So…I’m Salome Yilsoem Datong and I’m Nigerian (African). As a woman, I shall not disclose my age until I consider it proper to do so. :). Well I know a lot of you who’ll be reading this already know my age but oh well, what can I say? My age is for me to know and the rest of you to find out. 😉
I’m the last child of four kids and…I love to eat? I’m wondering why I’m giving all this unnecessary information about me but this is meant to be an introduction so I’ll go on anyway.
Alright I’ll say more meaningful stuff. I’m the kind of woman who will rather talk to you in person than text you. I’ll rather go for a walk than stay in bed and watch Netflix. I’ll rahter…watch some guy paint a beautiful scenery than go see a movie.
Okay. Are you slowly starting to understand my personality now?
I’ll say a little more, because I’m gonna be writing a lot about a lot of stuff and I’ll want you to understand my opinions based on the kind of person I am. I really wouldn’t want you to blindly read through my “yilsoemnotes”.
Of course, I can’t say everything about me now but with time, the true me will be crystal clear and shining bright like a diamond :).
Yes. Moving on. I like to sing and draw. I wanna move on to the next level and start painting as well. Call me crazy but I adore classical music. Call me crazy again but I really enjoy negro-spirituals. I stumbled upon this beautiful finding one day: most negro spirituals are built on the five black notes of a piano. How amazing! The slaves back then didn’t even know what they were doing. They really just needed to sing!
Boy!!!! I can digress!!!
So…yes, I’m just really a music person; rap and hip hop and soul music and all of that. I enjoy all of those.
I dance and I’m generally more of a creative person, I believe.
I like to be straightforward, and I dislike situations in which I find myself restraining from being straightforward and real.
I guess that’s about enough of me so I’ll just move on to why I started this website or blog?
I like to write. I’ve been writing poems since I was in High School and I have so many unfinished stories so maybe blogging is really what I should have done from the start. Also, I’ve recently discovered some level of growth in me lately. My opinions about so many things have changed and I’ll like to share those opinions with more people than the ones I speak to.
I am gonna be opinionated in my writing but I definitely will not be offensive, or I’ll try not to be. You never know what will offend people these days.
So…yeah. That’s it!
I hope my intro wasn’t too long (//_\\).
Okay bye. #Peace.